Advised of your Demise?
"Hear that, Elizabeth? It's the Big One. I'm coming."
Put Us in the Will, Gumba. You screwed up. It's way too late to become a 1%er.
Bequesting your hard-earned Fortune to the Family Pet or Blond Bimbo II ?
The bereaved (and everyone else) will find that as a hell-yes indication of dementia.
Send us the dog, the bimbo and the cash, and we will take care of all three.
The bereaved (and everyone else) will find that as a hell-yes indication of dementia.
Send us the dog, the bimbo and the cash, and we will take care of all three.
This Site
Endowed by What's-'er-Name, and was she ever a Hottie.
Endowed by What's-'er-Name, and was she ever a Hottie.
So the Docs say your one-way ticket is about to be punched. Through experience, they usually know what they are talking about. Without wasting too much yak, let's play devil's advocate here. How did you do for the last six or seven decades? I'm asking whether or not you were a rotten scoundrel/bitch. Self centered, arrogant, two-faced..you catch my drift. So now you're looking for clemency? "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it." We may fall for the media hero bullroar down here (which does you no good in your present situation), but up there where they are pretty busy and position doesn't mean spit, that might not cut it. They've heard it all, and are not easily impressed. ( "If the glove fits, OJ.")
More bang for your buck.
GO65TV looked into just this sort of situation, and has come up with a pretty sweet deal that one can't get anywhere else. Why? We need an 'Angel', a Moneybags, a Sponsor, a Rich Uncle, in order to research, among other things, that age-old quote by the whining Privledged, "Money doesn't buy happiness." GO65TV as a beneficiary with deep pockets would work to prove them extremely wrong. (we'd also purchase a new camera or two) Endow Now.
What does our 'Angel' receive in return?
In the Afterworld:
We are guaranteeing a non-denominational bypass of the system, a back-stage admittance so-to-speak. Arrangements have been made for when the death rattle finally comes, there will be no Judgement Day senerio, a straight shot in the Up direction, no uncomfortable questions at the Pearly Gates, and a red carpet escorted shoo-in to the GO65TV VIP area. In the mirror you will be 25 again with great hair and just past that by the beverage stocked refrigerator are 72 virgins chanting your name.
(More thought and advise is needed where 'Angel' is female.)
And if that isn't enough...
In this World:
More bang for your buck.
GO65TV looked into just this sort of situation, and has come up with a pretty sweet deal that one can't get anywhere else. Why? We need an 'Angel', a Moneybags, a Sponsor, a Rich Uncle, in order to research, among other things, that age-old quote by the whining Privledged, "Money doesn't buy happiness." GO65TV as a beneficiary with deep pockets would work to prove them extremely wrong. (we'd also purchase a new camera or two) Endow Now.
What does our 'Angel' receive in return?
In the Afterworld:
We are guaranteeing a non-denominational bypass of the system, a back-stage admittance so-to-speak. Arrangements have been made for when the death rattle finally comes, there will be no Judgement Day senerio, a straight shot in the Up direction, no uncomfortable questions at the Pearly Gates, and a red carpet escorted shoo-in to the GO65TV VIP area. In the mirror you will be 25 again with great hair and just past that by the beverage stocked refrigerator are 72 virgins chanting your name.
(More thought and advise is needed where 'Angel' is female.)
And if that isn't enough...
In this World:
GO65TV, operating as a non-profit organization, will protect 100% of your dough from those who feel they deserve a lion's share, such as loser family members who just last week made fun of your warts behind your back, shister lawyers, hungry wall street brokers, and those take-from-the-rich folks who work for Sen. Pelosi and President Barach Obama.
Tramp Stamp Remover
Probate
is for
Schmucks
is for
Schmucks
You will become an instant legend posthumously via media blitz. B. We will dedicate this site to your good works. (reminders/lies on every page). C. And a real Icon Maker, your own hi-traffic area in Cyberspace.
1. Video of motorcade, interment and (staged) riot.
2. An embellished and creative bio (rap sheet quashed)
3. Past secret advice requested of you by the Vatican.
4. Listing: Heroic Deeds & Honorariums from 5 sources.
5. Explosive content of midnight calls from Presidents.
6. The A-List of your seductions (with comments).
7. Digitally enhanced casket & autopsy photos.
8. Homage and grief of the Rich & Famous.
9. The Final Interview: long enough for all the people in
your life you wish to denounce as A-holes.
10. "ONLY SEEN HERE" Release of the long awaited
Private Stolen Sex tape - (Awesome Fake)
Leave a Forever Legacy
Seen Round the World.
Seen Round the World.
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E-Mail us a Copy
Alert us Promptly. It's difficult to interview a rigored stiff in preparation for a squeeky clean obituary. Time is also required for dress rehearsals, those Kodak moments of humility and piety as one draws his last breath, and looks really good doing so.
Plan for the Proper Disposal of your Remains.
When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich's house was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even left his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was a generic white cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder. (That's the way the police report described it.)
A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said that it looked similar to high grade cocaine and they'd probably thought they'd hit the big time. Later, Nathan stood in front of numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars: 'Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago.'
The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. The cardboard box was there too; about half of Gertrude's ashes remained.
Scotch taped to the box was this note which said:
"Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day."
Page Audio - Bill Haley - See Ya Later Alligator.
*65TV retains all material and intelectual rights to name brand clothing/fragrance lines and Bobblehead likenesses.
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly . She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check. 'There's no charge,' she says. 'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says. 'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.' 'So I just switched the heads.'
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly . She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check. 'There's no charge,' she says. 'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says. 'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.' 'So I just switched the heads.'
Cremation. Think outside the Box.
Music TV Psych Advice Humor TV Amazing TV Cancer Bailout Health Care Colon Race Calender Training Just Female Weight Tobacco Inspiration Disclaimer Last Will Video Log Veterans Iowa Senior Olympics Book Review
Of all the things you have to prepare for, how about considering going out with a little flair. Tombstone design is something where one can demonstrate his creativity, give others something to remember one by.
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Finish Strong
GO65TV
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